Sugar Fiends of the World! Unite and Take Over!

Four days into a ten-day stretch of no chemo. Love it. Today I rallied myself to class at TJ’s and felt pretty good for about 10 minutes, then Toni notified me that I was turning green, and good friend and coach that she is, she side-lined me “until you lose that color on your face”. I don’t know if it’s the chemo, the fact that I’m just out of shape now, or this, which we all had a big piece of last night:

Elsa decided that she wanted to make a cake ALL by herself this weekend, so that is what happened. There were some tense moments over Alice’s involvement, and after some tears (Alice) and pouting (Elsa) and savvy negotiating (me), Elsa relented and allowed Alice to make the frosting. Both cake and frosting were delicious--nice work girls.

Who makes a three-layer chocolate cake the night before Halloween? We do!!

Boo to all--and Happy Halloween!!

Making it Work

As most of you know, I’m continuing to work through chemo. This is for a lot of reasons—I enjoy my work a lot, work gives me a much-needed break from thinking about cancer, financially its important for me to work, and given that I’m self-employed, taking a long break from working is not fair to my clients with whom I have on-going projects.

Fortunately I work with people who are very understanding about my situation, not to mention extremely compassionate. Most of the people I work with have been clients for years, and they are making an extra effort to accommodate my crazy life right now. I appreciate them so much—and their support is a real incentive for me to do good work for them.

Here is a great picture taken this summer at a large conference in San Diego. Thank you Janice for pulling your team together for Team Margie, and to the rest of my clients who are making this all work as I go through treatment.

Sistrrrr Powrrrr!

Great news from Oregon about my sister Molly. Her surgery yesterday—a double mastectomy—was very successful, and the surgeon did not find any cancer in the lymph nodes. This is fantastic news and the entire family and all of Molly’s friends are so relieved and happy. Keep up the good fight Molly!

I’m feeling surprisingly good this week—after my frustrating experiences last week, I was certain that this week (the second week in a row of chemo) would be even worse. But no—feeling good, and in fact after a week off, felt well enough to return to the gym today. Go figure!

One thing really keeping me going are my family and friends, who continue to bring me food, help with the girls and just show their support for us. Our very good neighbor Elise, with her husband Kevin, and three wonderful kids, has really gone above and beyond—bringing dinner, home-made muffins, and walking the kids to school every time I have a morning chemo appointment. That’s a lot of walking, but always done with a beautiful smile on her face. Thanks Elise!

When Sledgehammer Falls, Call in Your Friends

Today was a long chemo day, but got great news from Dr. Head. She could not find my tumor. She told me that she does not look at my chart before the exam as she does not want to see the tumor location and be biased about where she is looking, so she looked everywhere, and really...Could. Not. Find it. She had a big grin on her face at the end of the exam and so did I. Also, my cell counts are good--even though I felt bad last week--and I can continue with full-dose. 

My friend Patty took time away from her middle-school, where she is principal, and kept me company for the last (and most tiresome) part of the session. I got the scoop on how my friends in the TJ’s Games did. For obvious reasons I could not compete this year, but I’m so in for 2012. So much fun to hear about everyone—great work to all, and thank you Patty SO MUCH!!

Here are some photos from this weekend’s wine-tasting trip with Christine, Kathy and Addy. Yes, I did taste the wine—but that chocolate sauce was what really had my interest at the first winery—Larson Family Winery in Sonoma County.

I loved this dog, Diesel, who kept us company at Homewood Winery. With that tongue hanging out, he just looks like I felt all last week, but had such a great attitude. My role model!

Thank you friends for treating me like a queen all weekend. I know I had three pairs of eyes  (four if you count Bob the driver) on me in that car the whole day and felt very protected and cared for. You are the BEST!!!!

Ant, Meet Sledgehammer

This week was the one people had been warning me about. When Chris and I first sat down to talk with our doctors, Dr. Kelley told us that chemo had a way of taking out everything in order to get to the cancer you really wanted to get rid of—like hitting an ant with a sledgehammer. After moving pretty well through my first half of chemo I’d say this past week was when that hammer came down.

It was the first time I felt bad pretty much all week, starting with Monday right after chemo. Fortunately we had friends bringing us dinner (Kathy, Elizabeth, Patty, Elise and Christine—thank you so much!), and Chris and the girls had a close eye on me--putting me to bed early, making sure I didn't do too much (not so easy!). Waking up this morning I felt the best I’ve felt all week. It’s a slog, but we are getting through it, and beating this.

And there is nothing like a new niece to cheer you up when you are feeling down. This little munchkin is Summer Simenstad—who arrived this summer and is the cutest Jersey girl I’ve ever seen. John and Susie are back East with her now, and I expect to see a LOT more pictures over the next week. Congratulations Mike, Jennifer and big brother Cooper—can’t wait to meet her!

The Pink Boat

Sailing, as a sport, pastime, or passion, connotates many half-baked associations and over-the-top caricatures: Larry Ellison drinking champagne out of the (his?) recently won America’s Cup; Judge Smails in yacht club attire, christening his yacht, the “Flying Wasp”; off-the-grid loners who chuck it all and commit themselves to a life of  clichéd     rugged individualism, Sterling Hayden style.  But those examples are inaccurate misunderstanding, mere caricatures.  The simple truth is that sailing is just plain fun, and there’s no better way to clear your head and feel good than to go for a sail, even if it’s just a trip around the bay, getting home in time for dinner. 

         Last weekend I had the good fortune to be able to sail the Singlehanded Sailing Society’s Vallejo 1-2 Regatta.  This is a singlehanded race about 20 miles from the Central Bay northeast to Vallejo, followed by a double-handed race back the next day.  I sailed the boat up solo, and my good friend Smith Forte took the ferry to Vallejo and joined me for the race home.

         The Singlehanded Sailing Society isn’t really a yacht club, so to speak.  There is no clubhouse, dues are cheap, and its members include everyone from accomplished sailors who have made the singlehanded trip to Hawaii, to guys like myself who are mostly noncompetitive bay sailors.  It was really cool to be rafted up at the Vallejo Yacht Club Saturday afternoon and see those boats I’d read about making the Singlehanded Transpac, their skippers undistinguishable from the rest of us, everyone a bit sunburnt and looking satisfied after a day of great sailing.

         The boat that stood out to me during the weekend wasn’t one of the Hawaii veterans, however, but Tom Watson’s Darwind, also known as The Pink Boat. Not only does Tom have the cojones to plan on executing a circumnavigation via the Southern Capes, but he is doing so in a pink-colored twenty-eight foot Pearson Triton to raise $1 million for breast cancer research. His boat logo includes the evolving man, and has the Breast Cancer Research Foundation's pink ribbons on the hull and sail.  It’s a hard boat to miss seeing during a race, and every time it came into view I was reminded of how breast cancer can touch all of us, and how fortunate we are to live in a time and place where the community recognizes that breast cancer can be beat--as well as what it takes to do the job.  Fair winds, Tom, and thanks for dedicating yourself to this cause.

Launching into Second Half (with my Friends)

Today the second half of my chemo began, and I started my fourth of six three-week cycles. It was a long day and I was lucky enough to have my very dear friend Kathy drive out from Elk Grove and hang with me the whole time. Kathy and I have been friends since first grade, and one of the nurses commented that her daughter had a trio of friends that had been together as long. Kathy and I both told her about our friend Christine, who moved to Lake Oswego in second grade—so while she’s a close friend, we have never let her forget that she joined us one year late.

A woman next to me came in after I’d introduced Kathy to the nurses and after listening to us talk for a while asked, “Are you sisters”? Another woman at the end of the row said—“No, they are friends, since first grade. A third one joined in second grade”! No secrets in that room I guess.

Thanks to Kathy for coming and for leaving us with a delicious meal. Just after Kathy left, Elizabeth drove up with homemade pizza (and dessert!), then took Alice to soccer practice (totally out of her way, not to mention that Elizabeth has three little ones at home). We are so very grateful for our friends!!

Playing Taps for Coffee

You mourn many things after a breast cancer diagnosis—your ability to deny your own mortality, taking energy levels for granted, and one more in my case—well, I’m mourning coffee.  I gave it up, and I’m still missing it every day. That picture above? That is an aisle that I usually will not walk down at United because it's just too hard.

When I was first diagnosed, I did a lot of research on what I should be eating and drinking and green tea was high on the good-for-me list. There have been many studies that show the benefits of green tea—specifically in the reduction of breast cancer risk, and even reducing the risk of breast cancer recurrence. Coffee on the other hand—it has not been determined yet if coffee is good or bad for me when it comes to breast cancer prevention of recurrence, but I have learned it is not great to drink during chemo. On top of that, it is a lot of work to make and drink both coffee and green tea every day. So, for now I’m off coffee.

The girls are also making some tough food choices. For example, they are eating these apples because they know that they are good for them. Thanks to my friend Sheila in Wisconsin for helping make sure the kids get their daily quota of fruits and vegetables. Now if only I could find a way to wrap a cup of green tea in some of that caramel.

Super Secret Monday Night Dinner Squad

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from my friend Nina that told me, starting soon, a group of my friends are bringing food over on Monday nights. I was to watch my doorstep for the arrival of dinner.  She was right. The following Monday, the girls’ friends Clara and Rose appeared on our doorstep with a dinner that their mom Hannah had made. Then again, yesterday Nina showed up with dinner for us.

I don’t really know who is in the Super Secret Monday Night Dinner Squad. I do know how much our whole family appreciates this—especially Chris, who as the cook in the family, gets a much-deserved break on one of our harder days of the week.

The photo below was snapped at Wade Thomas yesterday. I’m pretty sure Elizabeth, Laura (and her daughter Kate) and Nina are members of this very special group—but I can’t swear to it. Whoever you are—I appreciate you all so much!

Half-Way-There Celebration

On Thursday I completed my third chemo cycle. This means that after a week off next week, I have three more cycles, and then I'm DONE with chemo. I’m half-way there and we thought this merited a celebration.

We are celebrating with a weekend in Inverness, thanks to Susie and John, and having a fantastic time. We are doing what we always do out here--grilling some oysters (for Chris and Alice anyways), playing Hearts, enjoying some great meals, and getting lots of rest (OK that's just me).

I think Elsa just got the Queen of Spades in the picture below, and Alice is not unhappy about it. Sorry Elsa.

Happy Weekend!!

Molly’s Mammogram

Shortly after my breast cancer diagnosis, my sister Molly got her first mammogram. We learned last week that Molly also has breast cancer. We are all reeling from the news, but I know Molly—she is a strong woman with a great family and friends behind her. She was so brave to get that mammogram and because she did, she caught it early. I have no doubt that Molly will get through this and be fine.

As surreal is it seems, having two sisters with breast cancer is not as unusual as you might think. Families can have a genetic mutation that causes breast cancer. Our family has no known cases of breast cancer, but that does not mean it is not genetic—Molly and I may be the first to have it. Also, since my dad is adopted, we really don’t know anything about 50% of our family’s medical history. I tested negative for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genetic mutation, but there are other genetic mutations that cause breast cancer. We just don’t know enough about this part of breast cancer to definitively say where this all started—and where it started is honestly not important to me.

What is important to me is knowing that breast cancer risk is higher among women whose close blood relatives have this disease. Having a mother, sister, or daughter with breast cancer approximately doubles a woman's risk. Overall, the risk of breast cancer in women with sisters with breast cancer was double that of other women for at least 20 years after the sister's diagnosis—and depending on the age of diagnosis the risk can be six times as high.

This is important to me in that I have two daughters who I now know have a higher risk of breast cancer in their lifetime. I will certainly be talking with them about the importance of screening for breast cancer starting at an earlier age than I would have before my and Molly’s diagnosis.

Please send Molly, her husband Ryan, and her sons Tyler and Brady all of your positive thoughts. We are all behind you!!

Double Tap

Those of you that have seen Zombieland will know what I’m talking about with today’s post title. Those that haven’t, get on it people. Rent it, Netflix it, stream it—whatever, just watch the d*** movie. It is awesome.

First, the good news. My cell counts are all in order, so I got the full-blast chemo dose. Then, even better, Dr. Head had a hard time finding my tumor today. She said that if she didn’t know it was there, she never would have been able to locate it. That is really good news.

My big chemo day did not go off completely without a hitch. About a half hour into the session, my right arm started to hurt—right where the needle is—and I was unable to type and after awhile unable to think about anything other than the fact that it hurt. I tried to suck it up but no luck—we had to switch over to my left arm after about an hour.

So what’s the big deal—for Pete’s sake, I have cancer, I should be able to put up with getting double-tapped. Sometimes it’s the little things though that add up to feeling just done with the whole thing--so instead of having perspective, it ends up being a "Really? F***ing cancer and now twitchy, bad veins that make getting treatment even more of a hassle? Really?!?". Fortunately, I have great nurses in that chemo room that work very hard to make sure I’m OK. Herb, Linda and Lindsay all did even more checking on me than usual today, and I’m just fine now.

My parents left today after four days of fun. Here’s my dad with the girls. Playing Angry Birds again I see.  Put that phone down Elsa or we’re going to be playing Angry Mom and that’s a game I’m pretty sure you don’t want to play.

Cardio!

[see the movie]